Talk:Watch Out Now/@comment-26466087-20150526235219
I'm not really sure where to begin this. I feel like I should start off by saying things are really different with me. I haven't posted on here since about mid-March. I gave out my Skype (which is Alaura Rose and I am the one who's status starts out "Foxy Loxy~"). And that was it. But in March... a lot of shit went down. I made the decision (which was actually a big mistake on my part) to contact my ex-best friend (who you guys used to know as Brad) to tell them that I couldn't handle their bullshit anymore and that I was actually getting anxiety and panic attacks when I had to deal with them (because I was; I felt like they were burdening me and there was a lot of stuff I never mentioned). And I had a really shitty time. I actually resorted to drugs for awhile (they were prescription meds; it was just Vistaril, I'm fine/safe now, and I don't abuse drugs anymore). I was in such a low place where only my current best friend could help me. For awhile, I didn't have access to a computer, which is why I've posted so little on here. My best friend lent me his Kindle and mobile wiki sucks, as most of you know. And tbh, I felt like the wiki changed so much that I felt like I wasn't welcome here anymore. It was like being in an alien world with people you once knew or something. (Bad analogy but idc.) But other things are happening... You guys know that I've been questioning my gender identity for about a year now. But unless you've been on my Tumblr frequently, you probably wouldn't be aware of the fact that I recently started identifying as genderqueer/non-binary (I'm leaning towards gender-fluid right now but labels are fucking confusing). For those of you who don't know what that means, it means my gender isn't strictly male or female. I identify as female sometimes, male sometimes, both, agender, other genders, and any combination of those. There are certain situations where my identity changes and it does fluctuate a lot. However, the longest I've consecutively identified as a boy is two weeks straight. I lost count for other genders. And just because I present myself very femininely sometimes doesn't mean I want to be called a girl. I wore a skirt and cat ears and still identified as male. I wore men's boxers and men's pants with a flat chest and still identified as female. I can wear whatever I want and still identify as however I feel inside because gender =/= presentation. Instead of Alaura, I chose the name Dimitri, or "Demi" for short. I don't hate being called Alaura, but it sort of makes me feel uncomfortable or experience dysphoria a lot of the time. All of my friends call me Demi now. If you ask what name I'm using, I won't feel offended. I'll actually be happy you asked me and considered my feelings. And as far as pronouns go, please just ask because they vary. Typically, if you don't know what to refer to me as, use 'ze/hir' or 'they/them.' Also, I would prefer to not be referred to as "girl" or "girly" or "chica" or basically anything along those lines without being asked first. I really hope none of this sounds pushy or demanding or anything...I just want you guys to know this, because you're all my friends. I understand it may take awhile to adjust, but please just try? Thanks... Love, Demi Ps- I probably will be a bit more active here depending on how things go.